


Vanderwood+Seven Commissions

by FanfictionConnectionWordpress



Series: Commissions [5]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Fire-breathing dog, Mystic Messenger Fanfiction, Vanderwood and 707, wrecking ball - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-06-08 02:25:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanfictionConnectionWordpress/pseuds/FanfictionConnectionWordpress
Summary: Commissions for Vanderwood+Seven. I love the almost brotherly dynamic between these two, and generally they bring out a lot of comedy.





	1. Wrecked Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanderwood arrives to Seven's bunker only to be unable to find the young hacker. A game of hot-and-cold begins that only makes Vanderwood want to beat the shit out of his partner. Good news, Seven wrecks his own ass with very little effort from Vanderwood.

***I was commissioned this idea by @chaoticstarblossoms on tumblr. ~Let's Connect! FFC***

Vanderwood could hear it. That accursed song. Seven had become obsessed with it lately. More like, ever since Vanderwood had complained about it on a mission, Seven would play the song whenever the elder agent came over to check on the redhead’s work. It was nearly constantly on repeat while Vanderwood would clean - the environment far too dirty for any sensible person to be able to work in, let alone himself with his OCD.

He called out into the bunker as soon as he entered. “Turn that shit off before I tase you!” That was how it always started, and for a while it would be off - until Vanderwood would start cleaning and get too in-the-zone to step away. Seven knew Vanderwood had to accomplish each task before he could pause. That asshole. This time, though, the music didn’t turn off.

The agent stepped into the living room of the bunker - eyebrow twitching at the mess everywhere. Where was the music even coming from? It was fainter than normal. Something was off. Vanderwood undid the clasp on his taser-holster, pulling it back for easy access as he pulled out his gun from its hiding spot. There was something _very_ off about this.

It didn’t feel like there was danger afoot - more like the redhead was up to his tricks again. If there was a trick, Vanderwood didn’t want to be involved. He had to find Seven before shit could go down. Every room would have to be scanned, and he started with the computer room and bedroom - eyebrow twitching at the mess but thankfully able to ignore it now that he was slipping into work mode.

Vanderwood stalked from room to room, holding his gun forward and scanning every nook and cranny before he moved on to the next. Some of the rooms, he could hear the music more loudly than others. Still, it would be a mistake not to check _every_ room until he found the right one. The music could just as easily have been a diversion, and Vanderwood didn’t want to get caught in a trap because he was playing hot and cold with some CD player.

He opened another door, checking around and nearly muttering, ‘Clear,’ to himself before he saw it. A pair of glowing orange eyes lit up. Bloody fucking Hell. What in the God-damn universe was that? Seven had a number of ridiculous things in his bunker, but the things that Vanderwood hated the most were the kid’s gadgets. He built all sorts of robots and creatures, and each seemed more dangerous than the last.

A, “Woof!” reverberated through the room - the apparently _robot-dog_ stepping forward into the dim lighting coming from the opened door. Its mouth opened again - an orange glow appearing slowly. Fear clutched Vanderwood, an emotion which was very rare for him. Typically, he would have rushes of adrenaline but never outright fear. However, there was a bloody fire-breathing robot-dog in the bloody bunker!

Vanderwood popped off a shot or two, slamming the door closed as the beast staggered back. He held the door in place, chestnut-brown eyes widening as the door seemed to grow hot - giving off enough heat for him to worry that his long hair was going to light aflame. It didn’t, but he felt his anger rising even more. Was the little asshole trying to kill him?

With renewed energy, Vanderwood was back to his scanning. Every room from then on was clear - the sound getting louder and louder as he approached the final room in the house. It was the garage. Vanderwood hadn’t thought that the kid would put his, ‘baby cars,’ at risk enough to plot some trick in there, but maybe he was underestimating the redhead’s trickery. Either way - when all of this was over, Vanderwood was going to whoop the redhead’s ass. Or tase him. One or the other. Bloody Hell, why not both?

Slowly, with all the care in the world, Vanderwood opened the door into the garage. He was blasted with the song on an even higher volume that made his already damaged ears ring. The agent kept his gun up, scanning the surroundings. Where the fuck were the cars? That was when he caught it, movement from the corner of his eyes. Vanderwood had previously cleared that space, but he hadn’t looked at the ceiling.

There was now a large wrecking ball coming down from above, falling in a bee-line towards him as Vanderwood jumped back, pressing himself against the wall. Thankfully, the wrecking ball stopped just a foot from him. Seven had apparently planned for that, and he’d also planned for the outfit that he was wearing as he sat atop the bloody wrecking ball, seemingly lip-synching to the music.

Vanderwood couldn’t even make his brain function to put his gun back in its place. He watched, completely dumbfounded, as Seven swung back and forth on the item in what was very clearly a nude bodysuit. Thank fuck that the kid wasn’t _actually_ naked. Though even the idea of it was enough to make Vanderwood shiver.

In the span of a minute - Vanderwood had gone from violently angry to scared for his life, confused as all Hell, and now back to violently angry all over again. “Zero Seven! Get the fuck off that bloody thing!” How had the kid even gotten that into the house? Where were the cars? They certainly weren’t here. Those were some premium luxury cars, too. The agent took comfort in the fact that Seven at least loved those precious commodities enough not to have destroyed them for this stupid trick.

Seven was laughing so hard now that he could barely even hear Vanderwood launching into a yelled lecture. That look on his partner’s face had been worth all of the hard work he’d done to get his baby cars moved to a secure location and then building his wrecking ball from scratch while hanging from the ceiling. Truly, this was his greatest accomplishment yet. There wasn’t even a way for Vanderwood to make him stop, because it was swinging back and forth like the very dangerous one-ton pendulum that it was.

Or so he’d thought. Seven had been so busy with setting up the specifics of how to build it and making sure that he wouldn’t actually hit Vanderwood when the ball fell, that he hadn’t accounted for how short of a time it would take gravity to slow the object in question. Already, its swing was shorter - getting shorter by the second. That detail wasn’t missed by the elder agent.

A dark smirk curved on Vanderwood’s lips as he realized what was happening. Seven had stopped laughing now to throw puns at him, and Vanderwood kept the redhead busy by continually responding - pretending that he still wanted the kid to get off the thing by himself. All the while, he was moving slightly closer as the swing lessened - so that Seven wouldn’t notice just how small the swing had gotten. When it was nearly to the middle of the room, he saw the realization cross the redhead’s face.

He hadn’t planned for this! Seven only realized what was happening when he questioned why he was getting a look at Vanderwood’s face so often now. The redhead sat petrified, trying to come up with the escape plan that he’d neglected to create beforehand. Curse his uncontrollable excitement! Probably the worst part of it was that the older agent wasn’t even _doing_ anything. Seven looked up at the male, clutching the rope on his wrecking ball for dear life.

Vanderwood loved the way that Seven’s eyes were widening, preparing for his impending doom and punishment. He just stood there, letting the guy stew in it. Seven made a nervous chuckle after they’d been motionless for a minute or two, trying to get off of the wrecking ball. “I should get going to work, huh?”

The older agent just pressed his hand to Seven’s back, keeping him in place atop the item. “You want to get to work now? You look busy to me.” The music was making his ears ring more the longer it played so loudly, but he didn’t care right now. Seven deserved some torture after what he’d done. He watched as the redhead shifted uncomfortably on the large sphere, clearly not a good position to be in for long periods of time. “Uh…Yeah…I’d like to get to work!”

This device of his was so uncomfortable that Seven was sure it would wreck his ass if he didn’t get off of it soon. Maybe if he kept pretending like nothing had happened, Vanderwood would be nice and let him off the hook? Unlikely, but he had to give it a try. “I’ll just get right on it!” Again, he tried to move and was stopped. “You’re already on it.” His eyes flicked to the wrecking ball and back to Seven’s face. “You certainly came in like the wrecking ball you are, today.”

Vanderwood shifted, getting some earplugs out from an inner pocket of his jacket and in a deliberately slow motion, inserting them into his own ears. He was probably speaking much louder now thanks to them, but he’d been practically shouting over the music already. “We’ve got plenty of time before the deadline, so why don’t you enjoy your music a little bit longer?”

He could still faintly hear the song past the earplugs, and it was playing in his head, too. At least the painful ringing was gone. That, and there was another reward out of this. Seven would never again play that song - certainly not on repeat. The boy had a sore ass for a week. Vanderwood hadn’t even needed to whoop it to make that happen.

Check out my website. [~Let’s Connect! FFC](https://fanfictionconnection.wordpress.com/)


	2. Get the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanderwood and Seven have left the agency, but life as a non-agent isn't always easy. In particular, having a love-life is a foreign concept. Seven tries to help his former agency with woo-ing his girl.

***I wrote this particular piece for fuwafuwagem on tumblr. It was actually something she won as a raffle gift on my [MM server Discord](https://discord.me/page/mystic_messenger), but it felt wrong not to post it! When she gave me the idea, I was already lol’ing, but I mean the piece itself is a lol fest. ~Let’s Connect! FFC***

Saeyoung leaned in towards his computer monitor. Okay, that was really bad for his eyes, but he just couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Vibrant yellow eyes widened on the pixelated scene before him. Boy was he ever glad he’d installed CCTV’s in front of the bunker doors. Vanderwood awkwardly rubbed at the back of his head as he was talking to the far smaller young woman who had become the RFA party planner and saved them all from the various pains in their lives.

The redhead carefully turned up the volume on the correct mic, listening in to the conversation. There was no shame in eavesdropping! He was just…helping out. Right, making sure that he could help if something went wrong. Proper wingman, or something. Okay, he was just painfully curious, but still.

Vanderwood bit at his tongue. What an utter bloody fool he was. The more he tried to keep from saying cheesy one-liners, the more he did it. “I mean uh…you do smell good…That just wasn’t what I meant to say.” Since when had he become such absolute shit at talking to women? It had never been a problem before. Just…this one mattered. This one had perfect cheeks of blushing pink and a laugh he wanted to listen to every day from here on out. Holy fuck, that was a cheesy _thought_ even.

His companion only giggled - that exact sound he wanted to hear. “It’s okay. I like the compliment~” She gave him a wink that had his heart doing gymnastics. So…now what? He shuffled his feet. “Goodnight, Vanderwood~ I hope I see you soon.” Now she was walking away, and he wanted to reach out to grab her hand. Just as he was going to, a familiar voice broke in through the intercom.

“Hello, hello! Beautiful party planner of our wildest dreams! My lovely maid Mary Vanderwood the 3rd forgot to mention that we are having a party here on Friday~ We’d like you to come, if you don’t mind?” Vanderwood’s eyebrow twitched, a false and pained smile on his face. He didn’t want to cuss and act a shit in front of her, but what in the fuck was that red-headed asshole doing?

The woman of Vanderwood’s dreams waved up towards the CCTV camera, with Vanderwood flipping it off from behind her and mouthing, ‘I will tase you.’ She was perfectly happy, though. “That sounds great! Tell me if I need to bring anything, okay?” Saeyoung was partially cheering for himself; his plan was going to work! However, he was also planning how to escape his former partner’s wrath. “Will do!”

Off she went, and Saeyoung flinched as he heard the bunker doors open and close, spinning his computer chair around just in time to see Vanderwood looming over him. “Well, hello there!” Vanderwood’s hand was twitching almost as much as his eyebrow, but his hand was positioned over his taser holster. There was a certain darkness to the brunet’s expression that sent a chill down Saeyoung’s spine - his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallowed down the fear.

“Now, now! Before you kill me, let me just tell you that I’m doing this for your own good!” Chestnut eyes narrowed as Vanderwood shifted only slightly to open his holster. “You’ve got five seconds to explain to me why I shouldn’t tase you. One-“ As the much larger and far more intimidating ex-agent began to count off, Saeyoung jumped from his computer chair and bowed before Vanderwood like a pleading sinner. “Please, dearest Mary Vanderwood the 3rd, I have gotten you your second date! At an appointed time far from now, so that you can prepare! I’ll even train you in the ways of romance.”

Vanderwood’s jaw clenched, but he slowly closed the holster. “You have my attention.” Okay, so Saeyoung had spared himself at least for the moment. “I invite her over here, but I suddenly have to leave, then the two of you can have a romantic dinner. You’ll have had plenty of time to prepare! And I can teach you a few things about romance.” Saeyoung now did a dramatic pose - shifting to his side on the floor with his knee up and stroking along his leg as he made a rolling sound with his tongue.

The brunet grimaced, a shiver running through him. “Stop that. Bloody Hell, you freak me out.” Vanderwood grumbled and crossed his arms, looking away from the fool on the floor. Fuck…was he really that obviously off his game that even the redheaded idiot could see it? Another question, did he trust Sev… _Saeyoung_ to give him good advice? That was the real question. “Fine…but no more _poses._ ” The final word was followed with a waving gesture as though Vanderwood was sweeping Saeyoung away - who only gave the other a broad grin.

***

Vanderwood bounced his leg. Why the fuck was he so nervous? This was absolutely ridiculous. He’d set up a dinner - a mock one - and now he was waiting for Saeyoung to make his appearance. “Are you coming or what?” The brunet snapped towards the other room. Why had he agreed to this bloody whack-job’s plan? Saeyoung was going to pretend to be Vanderwood’s date - to help him practice being romantic - but Vanderwood was getting a bad feeling in his gut. Damn, he wanted a cigarette.

Saeyoung flounced into the room then in a magnificent long wig of red, black dress with a flouncy skirt, and looking every bit a respectable young woman with makeup in modern style. Vanderwood stood, but not because he was being respectful. The brunet clenched his fists, his gloves making a soft sound of complaint as Saeyoung spoke in a pitched voice.

“My~ How romantic! Is this all for pretty little me?” Vanderwood’s eyebrow twitched, and then he launched after the redhead - who immediately burst into laughter and squeals. “Ah, Vanderwood! I didn’t know you would be so eager!” The brunet was going to _murder_ the idiot. “I’ll show you eager, you little shit!”

He just couldn’t help himself. Saeyoung had intended to seriously help out, but with the opportunity to combine it with a little cross-dressing and fun…How could he pass that up? The redhead jumped into another room of the bunker and shut the door - locking it closed. Vanderwood pounded against the other side. “Get out here!” Saeyoung leaned against the door, breathing heavily and waiting for the slamming to cease. Vanderwood’s punches slowed, until he was leaning against the door, too. His chest felt tight, but not with strain.

The brunet swallowed the lump in his throat. “Can’t you just…take this seriously for once?” Saeyoung’s eyebrows furrowed, and he pushed himself away from the door to stare at it in surprise. “I’m serious about her. I think I love her…I haven’t…loved anyone in so long. I thought I’d never deserve to be loved, but she makes me feel like I do.” Vanderwood’s voice was choked with emotion, and Saeyoung was just now starting to realize that he wasn’t just playing around with his former partner - he was hurting him.

“Hey…” Saeyoung took a deep breath and let it out. The jokester side of himself was fun…right up until he caused real damage. “I know I’m acting like an idiot, but I really am serious about helping you. I know…what it’s like.” Of course, he did. They’d both been agents. Though their pasts weren’t the same, they were similar.

Saeyoung hesitated just a little before he slowly unlocked the door and pulled it open, taking a good look at the dejected brunet whose arms were crossed as he dug his gloved fingers into his forearms. “I’m really going to help you.” Vanderwood had kept his eyes averted but now chestnut brown regarded vibrant yellow as his former agency partner held out a manicured hand. The brunet bit at his tongue.

It was hard to admit to having a problem, and even harder to show weakness. Still…this was his partner, and they were in this new life together. Vanderwood took Saeyoung’s hand, giving it a solid shake before the redhead launched at him for a hug. “I’m going to get you the girl, Vander-man!” The brunet tried to push the idiot off of himself. “Bloody Hell! I’m willing to work with you, but get the fuck off me.” Saeyoung finally released Vanderwood, giving him a bright grin and a foolish salute. “Alright, let’s get to work!” Vanderwood wasn’t sure if he was relieved or horrified.

Check out my website. [~Let’s Connect! FFC](https://fanfictionconnection.wordpress.com/)


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